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Proposed Alternatives to Gender Reveals

A few exciting and much-safer nonbinary celebrations to take the place of the disaster that is the gender reveal party.

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Everyone loves a party or an explosion. But gender reveals have their problems. For one thing, it’s impossible to know what an unborn child’s gender is. Also, some gender reveals cause catastrophic wildfires. Allow Current Affairs to propose some far more reasonable but equally fun alternatives!

Name Reveals

“Whether It’s An Alien” Reveals

Fate Reveals

Mental Illness Reveals

Shape Reveals

Weather Reveals

Paternity Reveals

“Whether It’s Time To Flee” Reveals

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Announcing Our Newest Issue

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Our glorious FIFTIETH print issue, featuring a special panoramic cover from artist C.M. Duffy showing many of the characters from our previous covers! This spectacular edition features essays on foraging for wild mushrooms, the threat posed by U.S. hegemony, the afterlife of Nazi companies, the wonders of opera, the horrors of prison healthcare, and much more. See the latest in trendy men’s fashion and the latest “productivity optimization tools for the modern boss.” Plus a retrospective on the films of Michael Moore!

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